Mind Recorder - I

The walk to workplace

If my mind had a recorder, this is what it would record:-

7:55 am/rush to train station/look left-right before crossing rail road/get distracted by the middle age female exec with her neatly ironed silk blouse/walk up to the second last car/glance at the pedicured feet and wonder if I have a foot fetish/find a seat closest to exit/doze off/wake up just before destination/wipe off drool/drool at filled out tight jeans and stumble on the escalator/ exit the station/curse the sun, wind and the homeless/dump change at the most fucked up homeless/curse wind again/start to build up pace/try to jump signals and be beat back by menacing cabbies/curse cabbies/hit nice pace/get stuck behind a fat smoker/try to circumvent him/narrowly miss a big boned mamma/stumble into a hot gal wearing bright pink/smile at her though she was smiling at a flower/build up pace again/curse wind again and hand-comb hair before entering work/ogle at the receptionist/pick up a mint chocolate/pray no one farts in the elevator/someone farts, sneezes and coughs right next to me/curse him/finally arrive on 54th floor/rush out of the elevator gasping for air/smile at receptionist at work/slyly make my way to my desk(i am always late) only to find the CEO sitting on my chair

Its Good To Be An Asshole At Times

Dear Reader,

Today was a hectic day at work. In fact, the whole of last week was bad. I work in a Dutch concern and the big boss from Amsterdam had come calling. He left today.

But before leaving, he fired my boss. It was totally unexpected and out-of-the blue. We, being a small company, get a wind of things before they happen. Such sudden decisions are out-of-the-line.

A word on my (ex)boss is a must. He has around 25 years of programming experience and has done anything and everything that can be done in financial/trading domain. He has a CFA to boot. Such skillset is one-in-a-million even in a financial hub like Chicago. His management style was hands-off and he is a great mentor. Why was he then fired?

The trouble with him was that he was too nice. Not assertive, they say. He didnt put his foot down when needed. We as a company are fast growing and such a easy going attitude will not help the company grow was the official line. He was the CTO of the company - a vital cog in the Chicago operation and as such he had to be more aggressive. We were sold that the decision was the best for both the parties.

As a CTO, he also had to manage the IT part. The IT team consisted of support and infrastructure and the so-called lead of the support team is pretty much an asshole. He has been with the company for long and his knowledge and opinions are weighed in gold. It was his birthday today and he called the firing of my (ex)boss as his "best birthday present".

Here you see two contrasting styles - one a dickhead and the other gold-hearted but a pussy. Guess who wins in real life? It makes me wonder why nice always have to end up last. The world values anger, aggression and dick-headedness, it seems. And the lesson that I learnt from all this - its good to be a smelly butt-hole at times. The very fact that I live and thrive in such a convoluted world is probably because even I am an asshole at times. This feeling doesnt make me proud. But it does guarantee my job and thats what matters in the end.

Yours truly,
Intermittently shit spitting wannabe-asshole!

Framework for Life!

Man, I have read too many posts on Indian marriages, sex, virginity and life after. People are in a state of panic. Understandable. But what is not, is the expectations of both would-be grooms and brides. Here is a simple framework that I drew up for myself to ease my way into a blissful married life(I am not in the market yet, but its good to do some research before-hand)

1. Trust - trust is the bedrock of marriage. Lose trust, you lose sleep and the greatest relationship killer - doubt - creeps in.
Solution - Open and frank communication. If there is something that you cant talk it out, you are in trouble. There may be things that need to be hidden from each other - thats ok as long as the other knows that it is hidden and why it needs to be so. But of course, such hiding SHOULD BE AN EXCEPTIONAL OCCURRENCE.

2. Mutual respect - In most cases, both the bride and groom tend to be pretty much similar in social standing. So respect is vital. The following are a strict no-no
a. Yelling, belittling spouse in public
b. Not listening enough to each other
And, conversely respecting and possibly nurturing each other's career goals is a must.

3. Gelling with each others families and friends - It is very important to be able to gel in with each other's family and friends. Again, a balanced approached is of order. Make your spouse's family/friends feel important, but at the same time spend quality time with your own inner circle. This is especially applicable for guys who simply don't seem to do it.

4. Downtime - Encourage and nurture hobbies(hopefully, share your spouse's passion for his/her hobby...there is nothing more fun than doing likeable things together). So, if a guy wants to golf every weekend, make sure your spouse has a hobby that she will enjoy doing in the meantime. Even in the closest of relationship, moments of privacy are essential.

5. Past history and closets in the cupboard - if your spouse has closets in the cupboard, make sure it is cleaned up before marriage. One would not like to carry the burden of a legacy relationship into the future.

6. Financial commitments - some of us might have siblings and/or parents whom we need to support. Balance financial commitments judiciously so that your needs and the dependents needs are met (note: needs not luxuries)

7. Arguments and disagreements - critisms and disareements are bound to occur and its ok

8. Love - and last but not least, love each other abundantly and without strings.

A disclaimer is essential. I am south Indian male and I never been in a meaningful relationship. The framework is derived from casual observations of people around me! But, as long as common sense is the mantra, your life will be a success.

Pimping - Google Style!

Are you a slave of Google? Do you think Google deserves atleast a month of your yearly pay? Well, my friends, these thoughts are justified and Google plays a central role in our lives.

Of late, Orkut, a part of Google, has me hooked. Its a social networking site (euphemism for a dating site?). I have connected with long last buddies on Orkut and I grateful for it. Apparently, I am connected to some 20 million people through my 29 friends!

Apart from the obvious, it has some cool features. One of them, is "profiles views" which directly corresponds to your popularity in the community. Everytime, I open up Orkut, it feels good to see that atleast somebody has been reading my profile. Italso has a bunch of lists - wish lists, crush lists, hot lists. These lists aid Google inpimping. If two persons add each other unknowingly to their respective crush lists, Orkut automatically mails both the persons about their mutual attraction. This is the actual message one gets:
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Take a deep breath and ponder this...

orkut has unmasked a shared affection
And shown twinned wounds from Cupid's darts.
But while we aid in love's detection,
Its future path lies twixt your hearts.
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Thankfully, there are no little-red hearts in the mail

Within this context, I should definitely sidetrack to tell my story. The other day I was caught up in the Orkut craze. I had plenty of time on hand and started searching for girls from Chennai in Orkut(but residing in US). One of them really caught my eye. She was what very man wanted (dont ask me how I figured this from reading a 25 word description on her profile) - smart, cute, and mysterious. In this moment of attraction (aka weakness), I sent out a teaser. The poor girl was so alarmed by the teaser, that she changed her profile making sure to remove every personal detail about her! Google, for once, let me down. I was later sorry, for I intruded her privacy. (As an aside, privacy in Orkut is pretty next to non-existent. One can easily reconstruct a person's background and interest by looking at the communities enrolled. The scrapbook, in most cases, contains a veritable treasure trove of information on what the person has done, doing, or going to do. If you take my case, I am a member of SBOA (school), Thiagarajar College of Engg(UG school), UIC(Master's school) communities. A glance at my scrapbook will tell you that I have no plans for July 4 and intend to stay put here in Chicago).

So, coming back to point, why should Google play Cupid? Allow me to speculate the business model behind the whole venture. Pimping is all about money and Google has been wealth-generator .I am pretty sure money-making is as integral as match-making is in Orkut.Orkut, provides a treasure of knowledge to Google. And the best part is that the content is completely user generated.Consider these cases:-
1. The communities are prime ad targets as they present a critical mass of like-minded people. Take the community called "Ada pavi, ada pavi". This is devoted to Tamil comedian Vivek. This group can be marketed Vivek movies and the possibility of them lapping it up is high. Such highly focused groups is any marketers dream come true. The best part is Google doesn't need to spend money or time correlating people with similar interests. These communities form on their own. A few text/picture ads on the home page of the community aint going to harm anyone.
2. Profile views, as I mentioned before, can be construed as a popularity counter. Google can target the most viewed profile and lure the profile-owner to host ads. And that's one more revenue stream.

At this point of time, there are no ads. It will remain pristine, till people get so used to it that they are dependent on it. Google will then makes it move I guess. This has been their business model so far.

If all this fructifies in the future , I salute Google for visionary money-making ways. As they say "Keep it pimping, Google"