Ponnu-pakarathu and other kissu-kissupu

It would usually go like this (rather, my last meeting went like this):-

My parents and me would be "invited" to go to the prespective's bride's house. As soon as I stepped out of the car, I will be thoroughly checked out. Its very weird being stared/ogled at by mamis, paatis, neighbors, and neighbor's maid. Man, I sure felt sexually harassed.

Then, we take a seat. And the usual conversation begins.

Peris 1: What do you do in America?

Me: Huh, a little bit of work ...

Peris 2: What kind of work?

Me: Software dev in fin. firm.

Peris 1: Do you like it there?

This is one of the std Qs. So answer should be as ambigous as possible

Me: Nothing compares to home!

Peris 1: Hahaha...the astrologer says you will come back when you are 29 or 38.

Me: (feigning interest)...what else did he say?

Peris 1: That you will have two daughters and will be very sucessful.

I am agasht...the old man has gone too far...this is the time to divert focus. My pop, steps in and they talk about business.

This goes on for a few mins and then the bride is introduced. There is no coffee tray in hand, nor a coy demanor nor kollams with feet. A simple smile and hi and sits right across me. I liked the confidence.

Peris 1: ...this house was constructed in 98...let me give you a tour....

We all follow like a sheep after a sheperd...as it should happen, one of the room has a couple of chairs and a coffee-table set in the right way...the peris comes to this room...there's nod to his daughter...the trap is set...and we both sit in the room

Me : This is a little awkward...so, "hi"

Gal : (giggles)...hi

Me : When were you informed of this meeting?

Gal : Last night!

Me : (This is the first Q i ask)...you ready for marriage?

Gal : I dont know

This is the point I would usually get up and leave the room. But, patience, i learned, is more than a virtue.

But then I labor on. Talk about life, school, college, hobbies, passion, living in the US, cousins, friends, sports???

At the back of my head, a clock starts ticking as soon as I enter the "meeting" room. After 40 mins, I can't take it no longer. The other person might be interesting. It doesn't matter. In the meantime, I would have eaten a few biscuits, hopefully kaju-katli and a juice. At the 41st minute, I envitably stop. The timing is an empathetic view of my parent's problems as well. They simply cannot keep socialising forever. Last time around, my mom had to socialise with the gal's mom who knew only kannada. My mom knew none. They talked for an hour in broken hindi with probably 5% of the content getting across.

Me: I know all I need to know. You are a very insteresting person...we should probably talk/chat more and get to know more

Gal: Sounds good! I can't decide either...here's my mail id

We make our way to the living room. On the way back, she shows me her painting. I am impressed but I comment that the shade of blue used could have been lighter (am I becoming gay or ready for family-life?)

Peris 1: Looks like you gelled (With a smile on his face....he quickly turns to my father)...you know, if you want to do something before your leaves, we are ready to do it...we can even come to Mumbai...got some folks there

Whoa! Whoa! Hold it! What are you smoking peris? The gal has the same look of exasperation.

Eventually, it doesn't work out. But, thats the routine folks for all you uniniated beings!