Framework for Life!

Man, I have read too many posts on Indian marriages, sex, virginity and life after. People are in a state of panic. Understandable. But what is not, is the expectations of both would-be grooms and brides. Here is a simple framework that I drew up for myself to ease my way into a blissful married life(I am not in the market yet, but its good to do some research before-hand)

1. Trust - trust is the bedrock of marriage. Lose trust, you lose sleep and the greatest relationship killer - doubt - creeps in.
Solution - Open and frank communication. If there is something that you cant talk it out, you are in trouble. There may be things that need to be hidden from each other - thats ok as long as the other knows that it is hidden and why it needs to be so. But of course, such hiding SHOULD BE AN EXCEPTIONAL OCCURRENCE.

2. Mutual respect - In most cases, both the bride and groom tend to be pretty much similar in social standing. So respect is vital. The following are a strict no-no
a. Yelling, belittling spouse in public
b. Not listening enough to each other
And, conversely respecting and possibly nurturing each other's career goals is a must.

3. Gelling with each others families and friends - It is very important to be able to gel in with each other's family and friends. Again, a balanced approached is of order. Make your spouse's family/friends feel important, but at the same time spend quality time with your own inner circle. This is especially applicable for guys who simply don't seem to do it.

4. Downtime - Encourage and nurture hobbies(hopefully, share your spouse's passion for his/her hobby...there is nothing more fun than doing likeable things together). So, if a guy wants to golf every weekend, make sure your spouse has a hobby that she will enjoy doing in the meantime. Even in the closest of relationship, moments of privacy are essential.

5. Past history and closets in the cupboard - if your spouse has closets in the cupboard, make sure it is cleaned up before marriage. One would not like to carry the burden of a legacy relationship into the future.

6. Financial commitments - some of us might have siblings and/or parents whom we need to support. Balance financial commitments judiciously so that your needs and the dependents needs are met (note: needs not luxuries)

7. Arguments and disagreements - critisms and disareements are bound to occur and its ok

8. Love - and last but not least, love each other abundantly and without strings.

A disclaimer is essential. I am south Indian male and I never been in a meaningful relationship. The framework is derived from casual observations of people around me! But, as long as common sense is the mantra, your life will be a success.